Explanations On Marriage
Part 1
By
The Man Who Saw God Face
To Face
Raphael Okechukwu Nweze
Why A Minister Of God Should Have Good
Knowledge Of Marriage
It is important that you have
a good knowledge about marriage because of the following reasons:
1. People shall
come to ask you questions.
2. People shall
bring marriage problems to you.
3. People shall
come for counseling.
4. Majority of
the people do not know what they suppose to know about marriage.
For Example:
1. A girl comes
to you for prayers and says, “I want God to bless me.” The blessing she means
does not refer to success and prosperity. She simply means she wants to get
married.
2. Another girl
comes to you and says, “No man is talking to me.” That does not mean that men
do not talk to her. She simply means no man comes to her for marriage.
3. Generally,
people seek ways of solving male or female infertility. But a monk comes to you
and says he has excessive sex drive, which he wants to be reduced.
4. Everybody wants
to marry a good wife, but many are not ready to make themselves good husbands.
Likewise, every girl wants to marry a good husband, but majority of the girls
are not ready to make themselves good housewives.
This Is The Standard For
Humanity
Whoever that
wants a good wife,
should first make
himself a good man.
And whoever that wants to marry a good husband,
should first make
herself a good woman.
1. Should
a woman be divorced because she has no child?
No.
The marriage vow is between the man and the woman. Children were not there when
they made the vow at the altar. The vow is compulsory and therefore binding,
not what a person can change anytime he/she likes. A couple that have no
children today, may have tomorrow.
Besides,
every couple should remain faithful to each other, because nobody knows where
or how God tests his/her faith. For good spiritual growth, it may not be
necessary to have children. The reason is that children cause a lot of
distractions and hindrance to spiritual progress. In heaven, all
the craze for children is not there. Again, in heaven, all humanity,
including parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, friends and well wishers, are
simply brothers and sisters. Only God is the Father of all.
2.
When is
a marriage concluded? When Is A
Man And A Woman
Considered Married, As Husband And Wife?
The sincerity of a man is found in
his statements,
and confirmed by his actions. Your word is a bond.
When is a man and a woman considered as married?
Is it after introductory visit for marriage?
Is it after traditional marriage or wedding?
The natives would say after traditional rites.
The churches say after wedding ceremony.
The court says after registration with the local government.
The lawyers say after court wedding.
How can a person pay several times for the same good?
Is this not a clear case of confusion?
Is it not a sign of manipulation?
Is it not an evidence of general foolishness?
Listen, oh children of men.
Hear, you sons and daughters of the nations.
A man and a woman is considered married,
the moment they promise to marry each other.
That is why God is severely opposed to promise and fail.
“Those who engage in promise and fail,” warns the Lord,
“I am waiting for them in heaven.”
They have no share in the kingdom.
“Whoever pledges a vow,” says the Lord, “should
fulfill his promise.”
Debtors do not, and cannot, enter the kingdom of God.
Be warned, oh ye men and women of the world.
3. Can a couple live together before marriage?
They may live together, if
necessary. Moses lived with Zipporah before they got
married. Jacob lived with Rachel and Leah before they got married. Joseph lived
with Pharaoh’s daughter before they got married.
What matters is what they do while
living together. A couple should not eat together or sleep together, until
their marriage is concluded and confirmed; until marriage rites are completed.
To live together in sexual immorality before marriage is an abomination.
4. Is it good to have house maids?
It is good to have house boys and
house maids, provided that you take good care of them. Besides, treat them like
your own children. Assign duties, equally, to your children and house boys and
maids, no. Otherwise, the house boys and maids shall grow up to be wise and
responsible personalities, while your children will grow up lacking in
maturity, experience and wisdom.
5. Should the use of marriage court be encouraged?
The purpose of marriage is not
divorce. Therefore, the purpose of marriage court should be to make peace, not
to encourage divorce.
6. Should a couple be divorced if one of them is
possessed by evil spirit?
They should not divorce. They should
rather team up to fight a common enemy, the Devil. A person
who is not possessed today, may become possessed tomorrow.
7. Is gender equality true?
Gender equality is not true. The
public clamour for gender equality is the Devil’s way
of deceiving people and causing confusion. The man is the head of the woman,
and the woman is meant to help the man, and not to rule him. God says, “It is
an abomination for the woman to lead the man or claim equality with man. The
man should lead and the woman should follow.”
8. Should a couple refuse or terminate their marriage
because they are practising different religions?
First, you should bear in mind that
different religions are worshipping the same God. They are like different roads
that lead to the same destination.
Second, a couple
were before birth one person, before the one person became divided into
two separate persons. Each is the same as the other. Therefore, religion cannot
divide or separate them, because they are already one. Usually, at weddings,
people say ‘1 + 1 = 1,’ whereas they suppose to say ‘½ + ½ = 1’.
Religious leaders who use religion
to cause marriage problems are doing so because they are spiritually blind and
ignorant.
However, if an intending couple
cannot peacefully manage their religions differences, they remain separate and
not marry each other.
9. Is divorce allowed?
No. Divorce is not allowed, both Old
Testament and New Testament condemns it.
Warning Against
Divorce
The
rate of divorce is increasing everyday. Youths and newly married couples are
quick to give reasons why their marriage should not continue. This paper emphasizes
the fact that divorce is not allowed in the church of God. That was why Jesus
warned the public by saying, “What God has joined together, let no one put
asunder.” And I add, whatever God has kept separate, let no man jam together.
God has warned the world,
saying, “Those who practice promise and fail, I am waiting for you in heaven.”
The simple fact is that such people do not, and cannot, enter the kingdom of
heaven. And Jesus warned that it is better for person to settle his case here on
earth, than to be dragged to the throne of judgment in heaven.
Again, it is better for a
person not to promise anybody marriage, until he/she is ready for marriage,
than to promise to marry somebody and later fail to fulfill the promise. As you
should know, reasons do not, and cannot, save any one in the presence of God.
Biblical evidences show that reasons did not save Adam and Eve. It did not save
King Saul from losing the kingdom of Israelites, despite his good intention to
offer best sacrifice to God.
Be warned!
Relevant Bible References
Her are some relevant portions
of the scriptures:
1. Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his
wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that
whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to
commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
Matthew 5:31-32
2. In the house His disciples also asked Him again about
the same matter. 11 So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and
marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And
if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery ." Mark 10:10-12
3. "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another
commits adultery ; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband
commits adultery . Luke 16:18
4. A man must not have sexual relation with a woman who
returns to him after having sexual relations with another man. Deut. 24:4
5. Do not allow your son or daughter to marry a god
worshipper who refuses to repent. Deut. 23:2 Deut. 7:3
6. A man must not have sexual relation with a woman
betrothed to another man. Lev. 19:20
7. A man must not have sexual relation with a woman until
he has acquired her in marriage. Exod. 22:16-17
1. A man must not divorce a woman he married after having
raped her. Deut. 22:29
2. A man must not divorce a woman, until she commits
pre-marital fornication. Deut. 24:1
3. A man must not divorce a woman she married after he
has slandered her. Deut. 22:29
Compulsory
Marriage Stipulations
Compulsory
Marriage
Rape or testing of girls is
not allowed.
28 "If
a man finds a young woman who is a virgin, who is not betrothed, and he seizes
her and lies with her, and they are found out, 29 then the man who lay with her
shall give to the young woman's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall
be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce
her all his days. Deuteronomy 22:28-29
Laws Of Sexual Morality
Those (a man and his relations) who marry a girl, and
then come back after some days to reject the girl are committing abominations. If you are
not sure you would marry a girl, do not sleep with her. Likewise, if a girl is
not sure whether she would marry a man, let her not sleep with the man.
13 "If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and detests her, 14 and
charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, 'I
took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin,' 15 then
the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence
of the young woman's virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. 16 And
the young woman's father shall say to the elders, 'I gave my daughter to this
man as wife, and he detests her. 17 Now he has charged her with shameful
conduct, saying, "I found your daughter was not a virgin," and yet
these are the evidences of my daughter's virginity.' And they shall spread the
cloth before the elders of the city. 18 Then the elders of that city shall take
that man and punish him; 19 and they shall fine him one hundred shekels of
silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a
bad name on a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife; he cannot divorce
her all his days. Deuteronomy 22:13-19
Warning Against Adultery, Fornication And Immorality
20 "But if the thing is
true, and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, 21 then
they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the
men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done a
disgraceful thing in Israel, to play the harlot in her father's house. So you
shall put away the evil from among you.
This
Is Evil
22 "If a man is found
lying with a woman married to a husband, then both of them shall die — the man
that lay with the woman, and the woman; so you shall put away the evil from
Israel. Deuteronomy 22:20-22
This Is Also Evil
23 "If a young woman who
is a virgin is betrothed to a husband, and a man finds her in the city and lies
with her, 24 then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and
you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not
cry out in the city, and the man because he humbled his neighbor's wife; so you
shall put away the evil from among you. Deuteronomy 22:23-24
The Innocent Ones - In Defense Of Virginity
25 "But if a man finds a
betrothed young woman in the countryside, and the man forces her and lies with
her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. 26 But you shall do nothing
to the young woman; there is in the young woman no sin deserving of death, for
just as when a man rises against his neighbor and kills him, even so is this
matter. 27 For he found her in the countryside, and the betrothed young woman
cried out, but there was no one to save her. Deuteronomy 22:25-27
Nakedness Is Not Allowed
You should know that since the
Lord commanded that you should not uncover the nakedness of somebody, who is
not your wife, then it is also a sin for a person to uncover his/her nakedness
by him/herself in public. Nakedness includes all kinds of indecent dressing,
for what is incomplete is not perfect.
Bridal Presentation
Introduction
Bridal presentation is a term
used for wedding or marriage before the Almighty God. Such a ceremony usually
takes place inside the church, temple or mosque.
Is it Compulsory?
It is very good and worthwhile,
but not compulsory. However, problems encountered in marriage have made both
the church and society to establish standards which couples are expected to
conform to. One of these standards is that a marriage has to be formalized
through wedding, whether religious, traditional, foreign or legal.
Essentials
To Good Bridal Presentation
For best presentation, a
couple should present themselves before the Lord once they are newly married,
not after they have lived for days as husband and wife. The joy of possession
is best and highest when the possession is still very new. A man who has bought
a new car rejoices over much and shows the same to his friends while the car is
still very new, not after the car has become old.
The idea of trying to get a
woman pregnant before wedding is not commendable. All because
the practice shows lack of faith in God and impatience. People should be
patient enough to allow God send children at the right time. For
there is a best time for everything.
When things are done at the
odd times, the result is usually calamities, sorrows and regrets. Besides, a
bad effect often leads to more disappointments and sorrows. In this end time,
God would need more of children born late, so that those children can be able
to fight the end time battles. Unfortunately, and out of spiritual ignorance,
humanity are working against God’s plan, to their own deceit and detriment.
The worst is when the
bridegroom and members of his father’s family insist that the bride must become
pregnant before wedding will take place. This is very bad and it shows lack of
true love. Marriage is meant to be a bond of union between a man and a woman
for their own mutual benefits. God ordained it to be permanent, and not something
to be broken or toyed with. Therefore, whether a couple will get children or
not is entirely outside marriage conditions. For they were one before they were
separated, and they re-unite at wedding and continue to be one after wedding.
Nobody denies a part of his own body, even when the part is bad, sick or
damaged. Both church and society should discourage indiscriminate sexual
practice, because of obvious and grievous consequences. Spiritually, sexual
promiscuity is both bad and devastating.
Relevant Reasons Why A
Couple May Not Bear Children
The End Justifies The Means, In Some Cases
1.
The world is in the end time. That means that there
are little or nor chances for reincarnation. Therefore, everyone should endeavour to make heaven in this present lifetime.
2.
Usually, child upbringing has a lot of distractions
that come with it. The baby is either crying, making
noise or trying to do some foolish things and the parents are busy keeping it
in check.
3.
Frequently, the baby is carried about, either because
it has not started walking or because he cannot move fats enough. Now and then,
and here and there, he is either demanding for something or is about to reach
out its hand to grab what he should not touch. Hence, it keeps the parents
always at alert.
4.
In other words, the parents are living multiple lives
at the same time. The mother is living her own life and that of her husband. At
the same time, she is also living the life of a baby.
5.
All these things are the cares and worries of everyday
life, and there are distractions to spiritual growth. Life in spirit demands:
attention, devotion, quiet times, meditation and sacrifice. All these are
contrary to the demands of child upbringing.
6.
At the night, which is one of the best times for
spiritual experience, growth and practice, the baby may not be quiet or silent.
Sickness may demand that the parents keep awake for long hours, or the soul of
the parent, which is about to leave the body for astral travel is soon
distracted from that very important journey and experience.
7.
During their childish days, children cause a lot of
distraction by running about, by shrieking, by noisy plays, by quarrelling or
by fighting.
8.
Besides, the parents need to wash heir dresses and
cook their foods; take them to hospital, to the school or escort them to
places.
9.
Apart from all these problems, the payment of school
fees, hospital bills, provisions for regular meals and daily expenses serve as
silent burden to the parents, which may keep the parents unhappy or disturbed
for a while. Both unhappiness and disturbances are hindrances to spiritual
growth.
10.
By engaging in all these duties, which are everyday
occurrences, the parents are denied the times and opportunities for spiritual
practice and growth. They end up not being qualified to attain heaven. They
have to reincarnate again into the world, because that is where they are fit to
stay.
Whoever that is married and blessed with children,
should thank the Lord.
Let the person, who has no child, be satisfied,
because he has lost nothing.
In spirit and in the heavens,
all are simply brothers and sisters.
Actually, parents do not beget children,
because everyone comes down to the earth from heaven,
where he is already in existence before being born
here on earth.
This world is like a theatre – an auditorium,
and all mankind are the actors on the stage.
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband
dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But
she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment — and I
think I also have the Spirit of God. 1 Corinthians 7:39-40
Warning Against
Divorce And Adultery
Introduction
The rate of divorce is
increasing everyday. Youths and newly married couples are quick to give reasons
why their marriage should not continue. This paper emphasizes the fact that
divorce is not allowed in the church of God. That was why Jesus warned the
public by saying, “What God has joined together, let no one put asunder.”
God has warned the world,
saying, “Those who practice promise and fail, I am waiting for you in heaven.”
The simple fact is that such people do not, and cannot, enter the kingdom of
heaven. And Jesus warned that it is better for person to settle his case here
on earth, than to be dragged to the throne of judgment in heaven.
Again, it is better for a
person not to promise anybody marriage, until he/she is ready for marriage,
than to promise to marry somebody and later fail to fulfill the promise. As you
should know, reasons do not, and cannot, save any one in the presence of God.
Biblical evidences show that reasons did not save Adam and Eve. It did not save
King Saul from losing the kingdom of Israelites, despite his good intention to
offer sacrifice to God.
Be warned!
Relevant Bible References
Her are some relevant portions
of the scriptures:
1. Furthermore
it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of
divorce.' 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason
except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a
woman who is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 5:31-32
2. 10 In the
house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said
to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and
marries another, she commits adultery ." Mark
10:10-12
3. 18
"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery
; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits
adultery . Luke 16:18
4. A man must
not have sexual relation with a woman who returns to him after having sexual
relations with another man. Deut. 24:4
5. Do not allow
your son or daughter to marry a god worshipper who refuses to repent. Deut.
23:2 Deut. 7:3
6. A man must
not have sexual relation with a woman betrothed to another man. Lev. 19:20
7. A man must
not have sexual relation with a woman until he has acquired her in marriage. Exod. 22:16-17
8. A man must
not divorce a woman he married after having raped her. Deut. 22:29
9. A man must
not divorce a woman, until she commits pre-marital fornication. Deut. 24:1
10.
A man must not divorce a woman she married after he
has slandered her. Deut. 22:29